DECEIVED

Another hole was built up in my heart last night. I feel so heavy in the inside today after I’ve found out the whole thing. Yes I’ve see it coming the truth is slowly coming in but then I just can’t stop myself from getting all teary up and keep on thinking how much I don’t deserve any of this kind of treatment. After I’ve found out everything I feel so fucking deceived and used by you. I thought we could really fix our relationship ever since the day you’ve left me. I thought I can, but it is totally the opposite. You decided not to talk to me anymore and left me astray and treat me like an enemy or even a stranger that you’ve never know. I wonder where did all the memories gone off. Don’t you even remember a tiny bit of us being together? Why do you have to act this way? I still remember the word that came out from you that saying you left me not because of the other girl but then last night I found out you’re actually with the girl and not to forget that you guys are found out going to the campus activity together. How sweet of you being together with someone else’s girlfriend? Don’t you get it?

I just want to say that if you still like the girl before you don’t even have to make a move on me before. You don’t have to follow me on twitter, tweet me, dm me and viber me. I don’t need any more of false hope from guys. I’ve had enough heartbreak in the past and I’ve even told you about my past I believe at you but then you deceived me really badly. Even my previous crush didn’t even make an impact like yours. I’ve cried really badly last night and I feel so weak. Never wish to be so weak in front of others. Now here am I again with my swollen eyes writing on this topic because I really feel deceived and used by you. You used me to get every stamp from the campus activities and you’ve used me to treat you every time I went out with you. Don’t you feel bad? Don’t you? Why do you have to do this to me? Am I that easy for you? Why do you have to choose her over me? I make you my special one but why do you still have to choose her? I feel stupid at the same time foolish for being like this. I shouldn’t be like this.

Even the thought of suicide has come through my mind last night because I was really devastated at everything. I feel like disappearing for the rest of the semester or even my life. I couldn’t care less about everything now. But then I know suicide is not the solution throughout all of these. It’s just a heartbreak right? I didn’t lose my virgin or anything it’s just someone dumped me for another girl. So I feel that I am not good enough for everyone now and I need to improve myself more. I really need to score my CGPA and GPA this semester to make everyone that ever dumped me before to regret everything. You make me feel like taking this public administration course is not good enough and all you want is a girl with a high standard course like engineering, building or even quantity surveyor. I know for you public administration is nothing in your eyes. You think this course is easy huh? I will make your eyes wide open after what you’ve done to me. I will score I WILL. Mark my words. You’ve had fry my head all over. I will never ever want to accept you anymore. I’ve deleted everything about you in my life. No more just no more. I’m tired and I don’t want to look dumb anymore. As much as I want you back before I couldn’t help to think that I was deceived really badly.

          I know there are a lot of guys out there. But I feel that no one is capable enough to mend my heart now because it is really has been crushed really badly and I hate the thought of hating both parties. The guy himself and the girl herself. Seriously woman don’t you have any heart? Why do you have to appear? Why I must go through this?! Why do you have to disturb our relationship when I didn’t even disturb yours? You know he still likes you why do you keep on contacting him? Why? You already have a boyfriend! Just go treat him well and stop meddling with other people relationship. Biatch you’re even from a religious school don’t your school taught you don’t mess with other people or even meddle with other people? It’s not like I know you before this why? I know he likes you first but then do you have to remind him every time with your actions saying that dude you like me before so leave the girl and come back to me again. For god sakes don’t you realized that you’ve had make the girl hurt really badly even her parents or families never hurt her that bad before? Can’t you think?! You are civil engineering students you can think intelligently right? There’s no need for someone like me to remind you every single time right? I know you have many friends in the campus unlike me but you don’t have to act like you have a backup you can do anything right? I know most of your schoolmates are studying here unlike mine right? You’re making me hating you for various reasons even though last time I’ve tried hard to not suspecting anything from you but now everything that I’ve done in the past seems not you know working because the sneaky feeling of yours decided to make him yours again.

     Why girl? Why must be me? It’s not like you know me for a very long time. It’s not like I’m the smartest in your course I’m not even in your course. For god sakes why do you have to meddle with me? I just don’t want to turn into that bitch again. Because if I turn into the bitchy side of mine you don’t want to know what will I do towards both you because I am really vengeful when it comes to someone makes problem with me really I don’t like it when people messes around with me because I’ll try my best to seek for revenge that will make them suffer for the rest of their life.

   You should be thankful girl that I am much calmer now even though I know how was deceived I am by both of you. Now I saw it with my own two eyes that he is much happier with you now compared to when he was with me. At least he puts in much more effort compared to last time. You are one lucky biatch. Treat him right and don’t hurt him no more even though he hurts me like so badly I hope that you won’t turn out to be like him soon. Because he do really likes you even when he was with me I know his mind is still thinking about you. Don’t let him be your rebound and don’t deceive him. That’s my last wish for both of you.